oh beautiful sandwich of the grilled cheese how could i have forgotten about you yesterday. you with your wonderful cheesiness nestled between two toasty pieces of bread. i love you. you are warm and fuzzy and make me feel good. i love dipping you in ketchup. i love you with processed cheese or block cheese. cheddar or mozzarella. it doesn't matter. i love you on your own but i especially love you paired with some campbells cream of mushroom soup.

you are truly my comfort food.

another day another post.

not much to report. i've been in a shitty mood for the past week or so. i ranted about it on my message board and have been feeling a little better. i'm still packing away. i think i'm about 3/4 done. i can't wait to move. living in limbo like this sucks ass.

i've been paying attention to what we've been eating in restaurants or at other peoples houses and what we used to eat in the past and i'm trying to compile a list of dishes so menu planning is hopefully easy (easier?) for me.

things we order in restaurants all the time:

nachoes
chimichangas
chickens wings of all types (honey garlic, barbecue, hot, gold, lemon pepper)
bruschetta
lasagne
pizza
ceaser salad
lemon rice soup
greek salad
chili
spaghetti with meat sauce
tomato, cucumber, feta cheese salad
THAT salad with strawberries and goat cheese
tacos
potato leek soup
spicy chicken salsa soup
chicken fingers
pasta e fagioli soup
minestrone soup
cheese burgers

i stepped on the scale at my grandmas today. it said 245 pounds. so i'm creeping back up there. damn.

i'm not sure how i feel about it. i feel fat and gross and clumsy. if i'm laying on the couch sometimes it takes so much effort to get up off of it. it makes me feel like a whale.

i'm in the middle of packing the place up. we're starting to live in box hell. i hope we're able to get in a few days earlier so i can get out of here and into the huge apartment!

hah. how many times am i going to come up with a new plan?

we're moving at the end of the month. yep, that's right we're moving out of the folks house into our own apartment. it's a very nice 2 bedroom apartment. 1000 square feet. an outdoor pool. a balcony. all for a reasonable price.

this is my plan.

right now i can't commit to anything. i realize this. my anxieties & phobia are slowing down but they're still there. we're living in chaos right now.

but, come august 1st. i am back on plan. promise.

i am fat.

this needs to change.