My very good internet friend Kasanika made it to Etsy's Front Page today! (the felted baby links in the bottom right corner).

her etsy store is very successful. she's been on the front page a few times and featured by etsy as well. it makes me a little star struck and envious of her crafty-godliness.

in her own words kasanika is "inspired by the natural beauty that surrounds me, I strive to create unique, beautiful and functional handcrafted delights. kasanika is a true craftsman.

make sure you visit kasanika's blog to keep updated on what is new and what wonderful ideas she's thinking of next and who she's blogging about.

This was the song we had during the signing of the registry. It makes me cry every time I hear it. When I say we had this at our vow renewal people often tell me that I was born in the wrong decade. Based on some recent events, I'm beginning to think they're right.

THERE IS LOVE (Paul Stookey)

- Wedding Song -

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubador is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain,
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name,
There is love. There is love.

Oh, a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.
They will travel on to where the two will be as one.
As it was in the beginning, is now until the end,
woman draws her life from man
and gives it back again and there is love.
Oh, there's love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For is loving is the answer then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh, there's love. There is love.

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubador is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
there is love. Oh, there is love.

i have a soul sucking job, and i hate it. there, i said it. it's out in the open. i'm not pretending to ignore it anymore.

this is what i do all day (in a nutshell). open message. click a variety of times. copy. undo. press the format message button. click some more buttons. file, print. save. close. delete. hole punch. staple. repeat 120 times a day.

seriously.

in between those fascinating tasks i also am responsible for PA (their way of saying filing, PA = Put Away), opening and sorting mail, transferring phone calls (mostly to the desk about 3 feet away from me), doing data entry, and my personal favorite alphatizing (yep, that's right, alphatizing).

up until 3 months ago i had the most boring job ever. i had very little to do and most of my day was spent surfing the net, writing emails, and chatting with co-workers. then, someone realized i was competent and could actually follow through with tasks. my job description was re-written and i was given loads more to do. so much more that now there is no way on earth that i could complete all my tasks in a work day--let alone the work week. i am forced to spend the rest of my working days in some kind of paper pile repetitiveness hell.

i miss my old job as school secretary. i miss the unpredictability, the excitement, the hilarity, the craziness, the creativity involved. i miss all the good stuff. (i know i'm ignoring what drove me batty--the misbehavior, the crazy rules, the heartbreaking stories i heard and events i witnessed, the inability to change, the teachers--but really even the bad stuff is looking pretty good).

i took this new job mostly for the money and because it was the government. now, i wonder every day what i should do next and where is this job taking me. where is this job taking me? can i do this for the next 30 years? what do i want to do for the next 30 years--or longer?

i have signed up for this course offered by my employer. it's about creating and maintaining portfolios. sounds simple? hardly. this course (which is six days long spread out over 12 weeks) is so much more. it is about finding your passion and what drives you and what you want out of a career and how to get there and what makes you happy and so on and so on and so on.

last week (the first week) we started writing competency statements. i'm finding this very hard. i had lots of skills and varied duties and broad experience at my previous job, but now? now all i do is click and click and click and hit file and print (& mostly poorly i might add). *sigh*

these are the 3 competency statements for computer skills (we're supposed to have statements for 3 'areas'--i've got a long way to go)

1. enter data efficiently and accurately into ABCD program and departmental MS Access Database to ensure personnel info is up to date.

2. create and design month school newsletter using MS Publisher to inform students and families.

3. identify a need and design in Excel a form to easily and clearly slot students into their options courses.

see how 2 of these are from my previous job?

essentially, i'm feeling like i currently have no skills or competencies or anythings. i'm just a skill-less clicker.

here's the finished product...sort of. the instructions say to wash, press, and cut fabric to fit the ring...but i'm kind of scared of doing that. sorry it's not the greatest picture, but my camera was being dumb last night.

i don't really get french knots, so i cheated a bit and if you look real real real real close you can see where i've screwed a teensy bit, but i'm going to guess no one is going to look that close.

i took some of my birthday money and purchased some more cross stitch stuff. i think after christmas (with my christmas money) i'll buy a more expensive and complicated and large one and work on it for months and months. lol. i've got serious crafters add.

this year the goal of christmas is to keep it simple and keep it homemade and keep it earth friendly.

with this in mind i've purchased 5 large baskets (which are going to replace wrapping paper) for the 5 main groups of people i buy for.

i'm going to keep a running list and cross things off once i'm finished them. i need to stay organized this year and i don't want to become overwhelmed or...ahem...forget something.

1. Grandma's Basket
--Small Cross Stitch (working on)
--Snowflake ornaments
--Felted Wool Wreath

2. Parents Basket

--Gift Certificates
--Snowflake Ornaments
--Scrap Afghan (maybe)

3. Aunt & Uncle
--Small Cross Stitch (purchased)
--Snowflake ornaments
--Felted Wool Wreath

4. Aunt
--Small Cross Stitch (purchased)
--Snowflake ornaments
--Felted Wool Wreath

5. Sister and Family (1 husband and 3 kids)
--Snowflake ornaments
--crazy scrap scarves (3)
--cutlery cases (3)
--Felted Wool Wreath

6. Sunday School Kids
--I'd like to make each of the little kids a snowflake ornament (about 20)

7. Cousins
--I'm still on the fence about if i should give them gifts this year

PATTERNS
felted Wreath
Snowflakes

i'm also thinking of making nuts n bolts and putting them in mason jars or something similar for the gift baskets as well.

i'm bored with my business (or lack of business) name. 4Star just isn't cutting it anymore.

i want a name that lets folks see what i'm all about and what my crafting is all about, such as these things:

• green
• earth friendly
• hip
• cool
• upcycled
• crochet
• fairly priced
• unique
• made with love
  

i'm experiencing some severe creativity block though. i can't think of a single thing. nada. nietz. zilch. zip. zero.

it seems like all the cool names are taken. hrmpf. it would have to be something that is available on etsy too....which makes it challenging...

any ideas folks?

It's hard for me to stay focused. I'm the idea girl. I can generate seven thousand ideas a day. I can have 2 dozen tabs open on the computer. I can start 8 different crafts. I can make 4 different budgets. I can have a dozen different long term plans. I can choose to go back to school one day and then the next decide to switch careers and then the week after want to stay at what i'm doing. i can triple book myself with friends very easily. i can have 20 books on the shelf that i haven't read yet--but plan to any day. i have 3 different blogs. a swack of mesage boards i visit every day.

you see where this is going? i can dream very well. i can even be practical to a degree. i can find solutions everywhere and anytime.

what i have problems with? follow through. persistence. perserverance. continuity. flow.

some examples:

• GYM MEMBERSHIPS....are evil as far as i'm concerned. they cost a lot of money and i never go for more then 4 months. i go religiously the first 3 months, and then i start to slide. right down into the pit of complete non-attendance.
• COMMITTEES...they're meant to be joined and then dropped right? even when you're chair, right?
• WEIGHT LOSS....i go back and forth between weight watchers, sommersizing, gorging, and general healthy eating faster then folks can do man makers....no follow through...
  
• CRAFTING....everyone has piles of started-but-not-finished crafts right? i remember once i even bought a 20 dollar book (on credit card) about how to make these cute little pot people and cute little pot people villages. where are they you ask? still in the book...now if i only know where the book was...no follow through...
  
• USED BOOK SALES...i go crazy at these buying armfuls and armfuls of books and then never end up reaidng 1/4 of them...no follow through there.
  

i find this is creeping into my work life as well. i started some largish projects a few months ago (mostly updating old files) and i still have. not. finished. them yet. it always seems that something new is popping up or something needs to be done.

it's happening at home too. keeping up with everything i want to do for andrew. the complicated stuff and the not so complicated stuff (ie. teeth brushing--yep, i've got no follow through on that too).

sometimes blogging helps me stay foccused. except then i make some crazy post about how i'm going to make a post a day and then promptly stop posting the day before. or i say, 'i'm going to drink 8 glasses of water a day for 1 mont' and then forget about it 2 days later.

i used to make lists and promises and oaths and goals and stuff like that...and then would promptly lose them.

i've gotta stay focussed. starting....now.

promise.

this is me with my mom many, many, many moons ago. i love this picture of the 2 of us. i have had it in a frame for years. in fact when i was with my ex his friends actually thought i was the adult in the picture and they wondered where my kid was. hah! it was always amusing to explain that that was me and my mom. it's come full circle because i always wear a bandana in my hair like that...just like my mom used to do. :)

this is me from my high school grad. it's one of my favorite (& only!) pictures of me as a teen. i remember the day this was taken. i took great pains doing my hair. i primped for hours. the only problem is you can't really tell that that 'do' took hours to do. but for those that know me and have met me, you'd realize my hair is normally in a state of intense frizz. i also put make up on. specifically lipstick. i've always been a no-make up kind of girl. even then. even back in high school. i remember carefully applying the lipstick and foundation 10 minutes before they took the picture. i remember even taking the lenses out my glasses so there was no glare. i wanted those pictures to be phenomenal! grad and everything associated with it was such a big deal. which is funny, because when i graduated from university it was such a non-deal. i wasn't even going to go to the ceremony (i only went because i was 'told' to by my parents and grandparents). there was no party. there was no pictures (except for a couple candids). weirdness.

this is the cross stitch update. weee!!

i had a fabulous time with Kathy on Saturday and she gave me all the basics and watched me for a few hours to make sure i didn't screw it up majorly.

the deets? i can count. i can thread needles repeatedly (although it is the bain of my existence). i'm not a lost cause. i learned that you don't count in from the edge of the cloth for every stitch (that you work off the middle and whatever you did last). i can start and finish a thread. i understand what all of the little symbols mean. i can actually see a picture taking shape in the cloth. i learned it's all about relativity.

i'm finding it nice and relaxing. it's good to try something different crafty-wise. right now it's definitely not all about the crochet for me. i like how this offers something different.

when i finish this one i might just run out and buy another pattern. this one stays in the ring they provide and i think i like that. in the end i might be too cheap for cross stitch. i could handle paying for the pattern...but i don't know about the whole framing aspect. :P framing is expensive. at micheals they had this little one on clearance (& i'm wishing i'd picked it up when i was there) that sat inside a frame (that was provided in the kit. there was also pillow case cross stitch which looked intriguing because i am always all about the practicality of crafts.

Weeee. I love picture posts.

these are my snowflakes. i adore them. initially they take longer to figure out how to make but eventually they do get easier. there is a lot of counting involved in them. six chains here and 8 chains there and single crochet into 4th chain from hook. lots to remember. The pattern has 10 snowflakes to make and i've been giving them all a whirl. there have been a couple that i haven't been able to figure out. picots confuse me apparently.

the instructions say to starch them. that seems like quite a bit of work, so i don't know if i want to do that and it seems quite 'grannyish' (not that i want to insult my grandma cause she always starches her crochet and it always looks gorgeous--i'm just not sure it's the route i want to take). i think they look perfectly adorable all soft and floppy. but maybe i'm the only one that sees that?

i am planning to make 1 snowflake for each of the children's church kids. there was 16 of the little buggers today! so i've got lots of crocheting to do! i would also like to make some for the craft show and some for christmas. the smaller easier ones i can make 2 or 3 in a night (i think). the bigger more complicated ones take longer. i think i could 1 of those in a night. i don't know if you can tell, but for some of them i've added these tiny little cream beads just to give it some sparkle. i love sparkle. :)


i took a picture of all the ones i've made so far. it's my group shot.

i'm feeling quite proud of myself today. i'm dead chuffed. chuffed indeed.

ps. in case anyone is wondering how i've upcycled these (or if i've upcycled them) the answer is: 1. the hook is handed down to me from my grandma and 2. i bought the thread at a used store.

pps. chuffed = british speak for pleased with yourself

i am going to learn how to cross stitch. hopefully. my good hitched friend, kathy is going to teach me while our children run around amok.

hopefully i'm not a lost cause. hopefully i can count. i got one that specifically says 'for beginners'. i hope they're not lying.

i've also been learning to crochet with thread and the tinniest hook you ever saw. it's slower and more complicated then i'm used to, but i'm definitely enjoying it. i've been making snowflake ornaments. i plan to sell them at my upcoming craft sale (sometime in october? maybe november? i should look into that) for like 2 or 3 bucks. they're super cute and i should take pictures of them. i'm even experimenting with adding beads into the crochet. that makes it even slower! but, i'm plugging along.

it's true. this children's ministry co-ordinator is way harder then i ever thought it would be. there's curriculum after curriculum to look, events to co-ordinate, people to organize, and looney co-workers to deal with.

so far, we have 6 kids registered, 1 teen, 2 teachers...and no fucking clue. no fucking clue.

i finally put the curriculum in binders tonight. i read some of it. i've made some notes and realized that their idea of simple requires hours and hours of planning and preperation. i don't want to make a fucking puppet named priscilla that looks like a bird. not gonna do it. not gonna. i don't want to buy enough play doh for 52 sundays so the kids can make happy shapes. don't wanna. not gonna.

indeed. i'm praying that the spirit of god will fill me with inspiration and make this go smoothly...