**I guess I should say there's book spoilers going on...so once you figure out what book I read I guess you need to decide if you want to risk spoilage**


That's right! I've completed another book. 23 more to go for 2010! As you can plainly see I am zipping through this New Years Resolution. Hah.

I spent most of last week reading a very deep and political and important financial piece of literature. Oh yes, I am going to be thinking about all the controversial points and themes and blah, blah, blah.

As if.

My literature choice...did not...ahem...cause me to flex my brain all that much.

Confessions of a Shopaholic certainly falls into the realm of fluff. I had heard raves about these books for years. On message boards posters always would exclaim, "You MUST read this book!", "They're good reads" and on and on. I glimpsed the first one in the library the other day and decided to check it out. Because I don't have enough to read or do or make as it is, you know. Anyways, once I started reading I was hooked. Hooked in disbelief. As I turned each page, I wondered why everyone loved the Shopaholic Books so much?

It's an easy read. It's silly. It's nothing you gotta think about. It's maddening how magically wonderful things happen to this ditz that never pays attention to anything. the 15th and 30th richest men in England? Really? TV appearances? Freelance Opportunities every which way she turns? Fixing mistakes so easily? Blargh. I think what really upset me the most is that she digs this huge hole of debt and then quite a few far fetched miraculous events and poof everything is solved. Blargh again. As if. I buy things on credit and then I spend years repaying it. I don't get invited to do guest spots on TV which will clear up all the money owed, instead I learn a lesson, ya'know? Oh yes, and even though I've given up shopping I still don't get to have supper at super duper fancy restaurants and spend the night at posh hotels. Boo on Becky Bloomwood. Boo indeed. This is definitely not the world of Personal Finance confessions that I am used to.

Yesterday, I checked the second book out of the library. I think I'm hooked.

Damn it.

In Reflecting With God, Abigail Johnson discusses what it means to reflect theologically in the simplest terms. She is clear to assert that "we are theologically reflecting when we ask, "where is God in this?" and/or "what does God want me to learn from this?" These 2 questions are essentially the basis for all theological study by theologians (which she defines as anyone who intentionally reflects on their faith in conjunction with biblical texts and then attempts to bring that knowledge & faith into their daily life). Johnson goes on to add some further questions that can provide a deeper understanding. The further questions are as follows,

• Where is God for others?
• What biblical texts come to mind?
• What theological themes or concepts come to mind?
• What church traditions connect with the event?

I want to attempt to apply this idea, this reflection, and this study to an aspect of my daily life. It's hard to decide what to reflect on. I know I desperately want to figure out where God is in my Full time work. & what God wants me to learn about the death of my Father. & where is God in regards to my mental health issues. I also want to know where exactly God is in my marriage, my parenting, my hobbies, my blog, my crafting, my everything.

It's hard to pick. Any ideas?

Isn't this just completely beautiful yet sad?

Continuing on with places to visit...

The Lake District - Everyone tells me that this area is absolutely beautiful and a definite must see when visiting England so we're going to make the journey. Google Maps tells me that it is just over 1 hour to Windermere which is the In-Laws favorite spot in the Lake District. There's a lovely PDF brochure about Windermere. It sounds like a lovely place for a summer visit with swimming, hiking, and many things for kids to do (including a Beatrix Potter world and adventure playland). I think 1 night and 2 days there would be fun.


Chester - Husband has a cousin that lives in Chester & it's only about an hour from Preston so it's a definite day trip. It's a walled city and I love what the VisitChester website says about it: "Chester - old enough to make your spine tingle, yet young enough in spirit to be effortlessly fashionable." So far I've found an awesome looking Aquarium, an authentic Mexican Restaurant (which is a favourite kind of food for me--and I'm sure after days and days of pub food I'll be ready for a good taco), and a zoo. I think it will be fun for a day trip.

What a perfectly awesome idea! I saw this post at Gotta Little Space to fill and I am shamelessly stealing Rina's wonderful idea.

In no particular order and with no time line and sweet and salty and easy and hard and all over the place I present you with the List of 100 Things I want to Make...At Some Point:

1. Ravioli
2. Chicken Korma
3. Baked Ziti
4. Perogies
5. Apple Pie
6. Strudel
7. Salsa
8. Jam
9. Ice Cream
10. Beef Wellington
11. Pickled Beets
12. Cannelloni
13. Fettuccine Alfredo
14. Stir Fry
15. Green (or red) Curry Soup
16. Hummus
17. Homemade Spaghetti
18. Sushi (Something Simple like Yam Tempura Rolls)
19. Veggie Tempura
20. Yorkshire Pudding
21. Yogurt
22. Brownies
23. Canned Tomatoes
24. Buffalo Chicken Wings
25. Chocolate Cake
26. Miso Soup
27. Won-tons
28. Spring Rolls
29. Chicken Egg Foo Young
30. Summer Rolls
31. Minestrone Soup
32. Cream of Mushroom Soup
33. Sweet Potato Fries
34. Spaghetti Carbanarra
35. Pizza Dough from Scratch
36. Mango Salsa
37. Couscous
38. Some Real Good Cookies
39. Keema Naan Bread (or maybe Garlic Naan if I chicken out)
40. Pickles
41. Tortillas
42. Perfect Oven Roasted Potatoes
43. Eggs Benedict
44. Cobb Salad
45. Homemade Veggie Burgers
46. Lemon Rice Soup
47. Giant Apple Pancake
48. Rainbow Cake
49. Chimichangas
50. Homemade Potato Chips
51. Cheesecake
52. Mouffaletta
53. A Really Great Omelette
54. Latkes
55. Jambalya
56. Stuffed Pork Loin
57. Kick Ass Stock
58. Homemade Chicken Fingers
59. Gyros
60. Pad Thai
61. Beef Meekrop
62. Twice Baked Potatoes
63. Homemade Popsicles
64. Vinaigrette
65. Samosas
66. Root Beer
67. Vermicelli with Pork & Spring Rolls
68. Vegetarian Dish 1
69. Vegetarian Dish 2
70. Vegetarian Dish 3
71. Mexican Dish 1
72. Mexican Dish 2
73. Mexican Dish 3
74. French Dish 1
75. French Dish 2
76. French Dish 3
77. Kick Ass Desert 1
78. Kick Ass Desert 2
79. Kick Ass Desert 3
80. Asian Dish 1
81. Asian Dish 2
82. Asian Dish 3
83. ?
84. ?
85. ?
86. ?
87. ?
88. ?
89. ?
90. ?
91. ?
92. ?
93. ?
94. ?
95. ?
96. ?
97. ?
98. ?
99. ?
100. ?

It's hard to think of what to make. It was easy up until about #50 and then I really had to start thinking and Googling and picturing what we usually order in restaurants. I kept some vague, as in Vegetarian Dishes 1 to 3. I know I want to add meatless dishes to my repertoire...but I'm just not sure what yet. Same with Deserts and French Dishes and Asian Dishes.

68-100 are essentially open so feel free to make suggestions about what I should aim to make.

How does someone experience God? How does it happen? When does it happen? How will you notice? How will you know?

When you are little it is so easy. God is up in heaven, up in the sky with the angels. Underneath our feet is hell with the devil. When you die your soul (whatever that is, you don't get it, but you know that is the word to use) either goes up or down. That's it. Up or Down. Good people go up (so say your prayers & go to church & be good) and Bad people go down (so no lies, no stealing, & don't miss church). Easy peasy.

& if only it could stay that way.

But too soon you grow up. Toys are put away, days playing outside are long forgotten, cartoons lose their appeal, and expectations are everywhere. Church is no longer songs and games and crafts and happily running around and dancing in the aisles.

Too soon you grow up. You learn the sky turns into space and stars and planets. The ground is only a series of layers. Crust, core, and magma. It is infinitesimally harder to distinguish who is a Good Person and who is a Bad Person? Who decides what is Good and what is Bad? Fingers, toes, and eyes become actions, exploits, and deeds.


Life & Faith & God become a series of Leaps. They have to. Is a leaf always a leaf or is it more? Is it the wonderment of a miracle realized? Or is it cells brought together and photosynthesis and a carbon based vegetation? Is it both--it is all the realization of the Divine's Actions on the 3rd day? Is that a cop-out? The birth of a child is a leap as well. How can cells come together to make a real live breathing growing learning beautiful baby? The prophet Jeremiah is told by God "before I formed you in the womb I knew you." Another leap. Being known before conception, how is that possible? Leap upon Leap.

I could list dozens and dozens of ways that we experience God and see God and know God, but in essence, they are all leaps.

crisp paper. blue pens. ice skates in winter. babies laughing. sun shining. carefully made beds. lemon fresh. a good laugh. prayers offered. warm baths. runs by the river. gooey grilled cheese sandwiches. snuggles in bed. hymns of praise.

But you can see that it's easiest to only see God in the Good, warm, happy ways. Easy leaps. Ways we went to see the Divine.

Our list would never as follows:

knives brandished. money stolen. children forgotten. storm clouds. food bank line-ups. jobs cut. tears cried. backs turned. ashes where trees once stood. shouting matches. occupied hospital beds. soldiers killed. soldiers killing. child soldiers. cheques bounces. shoes with holes.

Where is the holy in those instances?

It's hard work experiencing God when it's not all rainbows and lollipops. Does God come after? Is God in the hands that help a woman after she is raped? Is God in the gifts from strangers when a house is destroyed by fire? Is God in the kinds words spoken when a father dies? Is God in the medicine given to stop illness? Is God in apologies? Reparations? Restorative Justice?

Is God only a leap of faith in a recovery program?

Or rather blogkeeping, cause there sure as heck isn't any real housekeeping going on today. :P

I widened my coloumns. Got tired of not having my pictures show up properly. & I made a new banner for my title. It's cute. It's not perfect, but a good start. I'm going to work on making a better one now that I've got the hang of it.

In an effort to get excited about our upcoming trip to the UK (did I mention that this summer we are going to the UK?) I've started to do some internet research about what we want to do and see while we are there. So much has been happening round these parts I have not really had the time or the inclination to 'get excited' about this trip. But now we are 3 months away, tickets are booked and this time I want to see stuff!

I guess I should go over the deets of the trip because I have not really blogged about this except to announce that we had started to save for a trip to England.

The Timeline

• Husband & Andrew depart May 26 for Calgary (yes, I know Calgary is further away from England than Winnipeg--this was Husbands ingenious way to find a cheaper international flight, some company named Canadian Affairs flys out of Calgary and they are dead cheap)
• Husband & Andrew spend May 26 & 27 in Calgary (which might turn into a more costly money saving venture then originally planned because they were going to stay with my aunt that lives in Calgary...but she has decided to move to Winnipeg and might move before they get there...anyone want to house 2 boys for 2 days?)
• Husband & Andrew depart for Manchester on May 28 (Everyone needs to say a prayer to give Husband strength on an international flight with a 4 year old)
  
• Dinah spends 2 glorious weeks on her own at home sans husband and child. Think of everything I'll get done! (This is almost as good as a vacation in Europe)
  
• Dinah departs for Gatwick from Winnipeg on June 12 and then fly's to Manchester (Dinah prays that there is not a repeat of her last trip to the UK which involved a snowstorm, cancelled, flights, lost luggage and a nice man named Doug Runchy)
  
• Hopefully someone picks Dinah up from the airport in Manch and she doesn't have to try to use English Payphones again.
  
• 2 weeks of holiday in Northern England with a possible mini-trip to Belgium.
  
• Dinah, Husband, & Andrew depart from Gatwick on June 26 (Say a prayer for the return International Flight with a 4 year old and the hopes that I'll be able to nap)
  
• June 28 everything goes back to normal and Dinah returns to work.

The Stuff I Want To See

• The City of Bath - Google tells me that the city of Bath is about 1 hour 45 minutes from Husband's parents house (eta: It appears I was mistaken--Google Maps is telling me it is 3 and half hours--this might cause re-evaluation). It is an ancient Roman City with the Roman Baths still remaining and a UNESCO World Heritage Site. There is a 'modern' spa (with a good sounding deal), castles, stone circles, and something called the Royal Crescent. I'd like to spend the night in Bath, just me and Husband. It sounds so romantic.
  

• The City York - Google tells me that York is about 1 hours 15 minutes from Husbands parents house. I don't know much about York, just that it was founded by the Romans and later conquered by the Vikings. It is a walled city with a large Gothic cathedral right in the middle of the town. There is also the Jorvik Viking Centre and YorkBoat Tours which I think would all be fun for Andrew. I think York would make a good day trip. Husband lived there for about six months a long time before he met me and I think he also wants to go to reminisce about his bachelor working days.
  

There's a lot more to post, but it's getting late and inserting pictures is losing it's appeal. So far, I've got 3 days planned....what to do with the other 10ish? Suggestiosn for Northern England are always welcome. :) I'm also planning to visit the Lake District, Blackpool, Chester, and possibly Belgium to visit a friend that is living there. I figure that by the time we leave we will have about 2K for spending money (this includes gas, entertainment and meals). The wonderful thing about visiting family in England is that there is a home base to go back to every night, with tea or lager, a warm bed, and smiles on everyone's faces.

cheers
~dinah

This morning I am thinking about the word Faith. One of the exercises in a book I'm reading is to think about "what words or images, whether positive or challenging, do you associate with the word Faith? Explore the feelings that they evoke and some of the experiences attached to them"

When I see the word Faith I think of someone that is unwavering in their Faith. They always know what the believe and what they believe in. They are able to answer questions about their faith and they are able to suffer scrutiny from others about their faith. Because of their faith they are able to always do the right thing and say the right thing.

Is Faith a positive term for me? It is my mother's name. I do think of faith and see my mother in my head and I hear her voice and I can feel her hugs and I can smell her perfume. Faith is MATERNAL for me. Faith is about mothers and love and support and encouragement and home. It's true, faith = home for me.

& while faith can equal home for me, it is not necessarily fact that I feel that I have faith. I feel at home in a house of faith (both ways!), but I often feel that I lack faith. I don't have the answers, I don't know the questions, I can't elucidate what I do feel/think, I am hesitant to share, I am slow to act, and I never evangelize.

My study book asks if my understanding of faith has changed over the years...and I am not sure how to answer this question. My immediate reaction is of course it has changed. In all aspects of my life I have changed. I grew up, I learned more, I went to University, I studied Religious Studies, I have read many books, I have listened to many Preachers, I partied and experienced life, I got married, I had a child, and on and on. I have changed so much in my 31 years. But has God and my understanding of God? Has it changed? I still question the same things I did as a young child, "Why can't we see God?", "Where is God", "Why is there bad/evil/disaster/suffering in the world?", "Why do we go to church/study the bible?". I may have added some more now as an adult and I may use bigger words, but really it is all still the same question..."Does God exist?", "& What does God want from me/us?" So, has it really changed? I'm not sure. Has it changed because my small little seed of faith is still there and while some days it grows, some days it shrinks back to a seed, like the seed of faith of a child? Is this change or simply inflation/deflation? I'm still not sure. But--I keep trying. I don't give up. I am still looking for answers and I am still looking for questions. I am still challenging myself.

I am still journeying.

Peace,
~dinah

PS. I see that this was mostly Faith, more to come later about Spirituality (if I don't run out of time).

It's hard to jump back in. It's hard to gather my thoughts together. It's hard to make sense of it all. It's hard to know what to write next.

I've avoided my blog and avoided writing this post for over a week now. I miss my blog and I miss writing posts for it, but I know how unfair it would be to not write this post about my dad.

On Friday, February 19 my Father passed away of cardiac arrest at his house at the age of 57. It was very sudden and everyone is devastated. My mother, my grandmother, Andrew, Steve, and my mothers siblings were all in shock for many days.

Andrew especially misses his grandfather. He was there when Grandpa had the heart attack and Grandma had to phone 911. He was there when the first responders arrived and worked on him. He was there at the hospital when the doctors told us that he passed away. He was there when we said good bye at the hospital and saw the body. He was there at the funeral with us all, celebrating Grandpa's life. He has asked many, many, many, many questions and wonders often who will make pancakes now and why doesn't God bring Grandpa back to life. I can imagine how confusing it all is to Andrew, but it's so hard for me hearing him ask question after question about Grandpa. Every morning he asks me if I'm still sad. It's heartbreaking.

I miss my Dad so much. He was a quirky odd man, but he was my father and I loved him so much. I'm going to miss his funny sayings (including "stop looking at me in that tone of voice"), his cooking (he made the best lasagna ever), his mustache and beard, and the fact that if I ever needed help my Daddy would be there.