I'm scared to weigh myself on Sunday.

I'm scared to do it. I know I've gained a shitload of weight since I fell of the bandwagon in June. I'm sitting here typing right now and my shirt is riding up and my belly is getting in the way of my arms. That's how bad it's gotten.

I'm terrified.

Me and my IRL friend are going to do the 2007 Carrandrea Weight Loss Extravaganza.

What is this CWLE you ask? This is it in a nutshell:

We are both poor young women wanting to lose weight and be healthier. We have had success with Weight Watchers in the past but neither of us can afford to attend the meetings which is what we think motivated us the most.

We are going to meet once a week and instead of paying WW 12 of our hard earned dollars we are going to put 5 dollars each into a pool and whoever has lost the most weight at the end of 10 weeks gets the moolah. Which if I've calculated right is 100 bucks. A nice little sum of money.



Don't tell her, but I'm gonna win that money. Buwahahahahaha.

I've got the motivation. I've got the treadmill. I've the culinary talents. I've got the will. & I've even got a Hitched girl at my back helping me along!

I'm gonna do it.

We're weighing in on Sunday for the first time. She's got a kickass scale.

I can do this.

Today I've done 15 minutes on the treadmill. I can do this. I can do this.

Today, Andrew has a playdate with some of the Hitched kidlets. It will be nice to get out of the house and do something non-family related. Thankfully he decided to nap this morning, b/c he usually naps in the afternoon.

Tonight, Grandma and Grandpa are taking the baby overnight and Mommy and Daddy are having a Grown Up night!!!!!! We haven't had a night without the baby since our friends wedding (August, 2006). I'm so stoked right now.

Today I can't think about losing weight. I can't think about making healthy choices. Tonight we're going to the Olive Garden for Supper (Tour of Italy here I come!) and then we're going drinking with my Aunt that's in from out of town. :)

But I'm going to make one anyways. I've got to make one.

I am out of control. I have gained so much weight I'm scared to step on the scale. Barely any of my clothes fit anymore. I'm having breathing problems again. Everything feels like soooo much work.

I've got to make a resolution surrounding weight loss. I've got to make a change.

I will make a change. I will ask for help. I will eat well. I will exercise. I will shop well. I will do things well.

I will.

Andrew was lucky enough to have Santa come to his great-grandma's. He was too scared to sit on Santa's knee though. Mrs. Claus worked a lot better...

I'm going to start posting again.

Really.

I mean it this time.


Just not today.

Today I did 20 minutes of indepedent WATP moves while we were watching a movie. It's a good way to get exercise in considering how lazy I am.

Today, me and the fabulous Reagan went shopping for back to work clothes for me. That's right, in one week I am returning to work. I'm quite excited about it. I think it will be good for me and the baby. I'm definitely not SAHM material. I miss being with peers and doing things that have nothing to do with diapers. The Fabulous Reagan helped me find some very work appropriate clothes. Today I bought four tops, 1 park of slacks and 2 skirts. I spent double what i wanted to but I'm feeling very good about the clothes. They look good on me, they fit me well and they're young and hip. :)

Tomorrow I am going to make French Onion soup. I haven't made it in years so I hope it turns out. I've got my fingers crossed. Tomorrow they're going to reek of onions...ugh...I hate that smell. Ever since I worked at A&W and cut and peeled and rung about oh 50 pounds of onions every other day I cannot stand onion smell. It's too bad that all the good foods have onions in them...

Well, I should be off to bed. I'm going to try and blog more. I find that it helps me keep on track a little more. I guess it's the accoutability, even if it is anonymous accountability.

:)

Ok folks. i'm slowly creeping back on to the bandwagon. We're settled here, everythings unpacked. We've got a good routine going....and i've come to realize that half my clothes aren't fitting anymore. How sad is that? three months ago everything was fitting...and some of it was even loose. Now, I can only look at what is in my closet and in my drawers. But enough of that. This IS NOT going to be a pity party.

Today, early this morning right after I feed the baby breakfast, I did the 1 Mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD.

& MAN, is it harder then I remember it being. I was getting sore doing those arm raises. I don't remember them ever hurting before.

When I fell off the bandwagon I was doing the 2 Mile Walk and the 3 Milk Walk and thinking they were pieces of cake. I was even starting to look for harder, more complicated DVDS to do b/c my simple beginner ones weren't cutting it anymore. I'm so disappointed in myself. I was doing so good. Eating right, exercising, smiling more....and now I feel further behind then I was when I started before.

Today we're going grocery shopping. I've made a 2 week menu. It's not WW approved, but at least it's not chips and popcorn and pizza pops for two weeks. I've got things like french onion soup, spinach and artichoke dip, beef stew, and tomato rice soup on the menu. I'm representing the four food groups.

hubby's parents brought this for me on their trip here back in june. i've only just gotten a chance to look at it closely tonight.

so far on the line up i've got a chorizo and tomato omelette & quesadillas with guacamole on the menu. & i'm only a quarter of the way through. i just added spanish chickpea and chorizo soup & pasta bianco.

i've had to look a few things up on the net b/c he uses british words. i've now learned that rocket is arugala. & tagliatelle is another word for fettucine. who know? hubby sure as heck didn't and he's from there. :P

i sure do love the jamie. he definitely makes simple food so sexy.