today is not a CORE day. it was a tough night with the baby waking up at 10:30 (just as i closed my eyes to go t sleep), 12:30, 1, 2:30, 3:30 & 6 AM. sigh. i woke up this morning just wanting all the un-healthy food we have in the house for Steve's lunches. so far this morning i've had chocolate pudding and a granolar bar for breakfast. and i just had a sandwich with luncheon meat and am now contemplating having a box (or 2) of snack pack smarties.

i think i'm switching to FLEX until the baby gets his nights figured out again. sigh.

today's eats

choclate pudding--3 pts
granola bar--2 pts
sandwich--5 pts
smarties
clamato juice--1 pt

11 pts/17 pts left

23 FlEX points left (i'm just going to transfer these, i'm assuming they are the same)

16 oz water
no exercise yet

i would just like to say that yesterday me and S went out for supper and I MADE GOOD FOOD CHOICES! yep. that's right. you heard correctly. I, went to a restaurant and did not order pizza. i did not order nachos. i did not order a burger and fries. i did not order any of those bad for you things. want to know what i did order? grilled chicken with a pineapple salsa and wild rice pilaf and brocoli. and it was actually good. we order chicken wings as an appetizer. half hot sauce ones and half teriyaki. my totally CORE meal in a restaurant...except...the chicken wings had some kind of breading on them and they came with a dip. before i even knew what i was doing i had dipped the carrots into the dip 3 times. once i realized that the dip was not a good choice i stopped. i am SO PROUD of myself. afterwards and this morning i don't feel the huge pangs of regret that i am so accustomed to.


todays eats

medium apple and some grapes
ff plain yogurt with a banana and mango
taco salad without the taco (cheese 12 points--i forgot to buy low fat cheese, eek)
more taco salad without the taco
maybe some popcorn later?

56 oz water
High Intensity BL Workout--1.5 AP

23 WPAs left

not much to report. still flying high on yesterdays weight loss.

todays eats:

2 eggs with ff ham on an english muffin (3 points)
lunch: leftover wild rice and chicken and the grilled vegetables
supper: something with chicken

32 oz water
Strength & Sculpt BL Workout--1.5 AP

33.5 WPAs left

Here i am posting after my ww weigh in. i'm just so excited and happy that i can't wait until tomorrow. i was down....5.6 pounds. now, i know the first week you usually lose quite a bit...but was this really the first week for me? i mean i've been muddling along on FLEX by myself since january, this is hardly me starting over after a large weight gain, right? but this is my first week on CORE and perhaps that also explains the large loss.

before i stepped on that scale i was praying for anything but a gain. i was so convinced that trip to McDonalds and the cookie incident at church were going to have done me in. honestly, i would have been happy with a .4 loss. anyways...i got a terrific sticker! i feel like i'm in grade 2 again. i wonder what you get when you gain? try again with a little sad smiley? or close, better luck next week? hah! i don't ever want to find out.

the thing is i was starting feel so discouarged about doing CORE. i was ready to say F*@#$ CORE...and now...now i'm not so sure. it's a brand new week and i've got a whole new set of WPAs and a better understanding of the program. i did make one of my weekly TWO THINGS TO DO eat CORE. i did lose weight on it. i did feel full and satisfied. i did eat a well balanced diet. i did feel good. the biggest problem i had with CORE was eating out. the foods i like to eat in restaurants are not CORE friendly. i could just save me WPAs for eating out...or i could make wiser food choices and realize that a big huge plate o nachos is not figure friendly and that a BIG MAC and fries are not condusive to a healthy lifestyle. sigh.

all in all i'm going to give CORE another week and see how i do on it now that i have a better understanding of the whole shebang.

today is weigh in day. i'm scared and worried and anxious and hopeful all in the same breath.

me and the baby are going to go do errands this afternoon. i have to go to my bank and to the store. we're going to walk. he's doing a lot better and i think the fresh air will be good for him. since last wednesday he's only been out to go the hospital twice and to church on sunday. the temperature is supposed to go to +4 C here today (which is balmy weather for us, hah). a good spring walk is just what mommy and baby need.

wish me luck!

todays eats:

farmers breakfast with a little ketchup
wild rice with chicken and mushrooms
2 mangos=1 cup
1 chicken breast cooked with HP sauce
oven grilled vegetables
oven baked sweet potato fries
smart pop popcorn
2 cups clamato juice (2 points)

32 oz water
45 minute walk to the bank with a very unhappy baby--3 AP

**update**

yeesh, i didn't know my guy could cry for that long. i feel so bad. about 15 minutes into the 45 minute walk he started to cry. and cry. and cry. and cry. all the way to the bank. at the bank i took him out of the stroller while i was doing my stuff. instant happiness. i tried to feed him--no go. i figure his diaper must need chaning--nope. i try shushing and rocking--no go. back into the stroller and the crying starts. i even stopped in at McDonalds (i only got a diet coke, praise me everyone) and sat with him on my lap for like 20 minutes. sitting with me--happy. in stroller--crying.

needless to say we took the bus home.

it's a new week this fine monday morning. although the baby is still not well he is doing better. his appetite has improved and ate banana this morning as well as last night. his fluid consumption is up as well and he hasn't been flopping around as much as he was. the Big D is still there, but definitely not as frequent. the Big V and his fever have not been seen for 2 days now. knock wood, but i'm hoping the worst is past us now.

i was thinking back to what my ww leader said last week at the meeting (i love being able to say ww leader & last week's meeting). the meeting was all about not trying to do everything. the idea is that while trying to do everything you forget to do half the stuff or you just plain can't do everything. her advice was to concentrate on 2 things per week so that you will be successful. then the next week pick 2 things on top of that to concentrate on, so that in effect you are now working on 4 things. & to remember to always continually re-evaluate what you are doing to ensure that you haven't let some of your healthy habits drop to the wayside. anyways...enough blathering...

What i am Going to Achieve this Week (March 27 to April 2)

1. Exercise Every Day. that's 7 days of at least 20 minutes of exercise a day. i can find 20 minutes every day right?

2. Follow The CORE plan. those are some mighty yummy foods that you can eat on CORE and as of tomorrow night i'll have my 35 WPAs back.

that's it, that's all i'm going to worry and stress over this week. if i'm doing those 2 things i'll be happy.

todays eats:
a banana and ff yogurt
farmers breakfast with a little ketchup
supper?--thinking wild rice with chicken and brocoli

32 oz water
no exercise yet (tonight is my church exercise class and i think we're going to do the 1 mile walk again as lots of new people said they were going to come.)
High Intensity BL Workout--2 AP

The Farmers Breakfast

a litle bit of onion (maybe 1/2 a small onion)
1/4 each of green, red, and yellow pepper (although the recipe only called for green pepper i added the others)
1 TBSP of canola oil
2 medium potatoes
6 oz ff ham
4 eggs beaten w/some water
a little bit of salt and pepper to taste

you cook the onions and peppers in the oil until their tender, yet crisp. i cut the potatoes into little pieces and then added them in raw. i cooked for about 8 minutes then added the ham. cook for about another 8 minutes. add eggs and push around until eggs set. (before i added the eggs i took half of the vegetable mixture and put it in a tupperware container and saved for tommorrow. i also made it with only 2 eggs cause i halved it)

it was okay. next time i would use less onion and add some mushrooms.

ugh. the baby is still sick. the vomitting has finally stopped and there hasn't been a fever for over 24 hours. he's still got the diarrhea though and it's tough keeping him well hydrated. i gave him half a banana and it seemed to make him perk up a bit.

food wise--not so good either. at church there was home-made peanut butter crunch cookies and before i knew it had eaten 2 of them. then i figured cause i had eaten 2, 1 more wouldn't hurt. so another one went in my mouth. then the baby was being all cranky b/c he is soo sick and we had to wait to drive someone home and there were wraps from subway. pop. into my mouth it went. and there was a piece of cake in there somewhere too, lemon cake with sugary icing.

i'm so freakin' stressed out with the baby. since wednesday he's probably eaten what he normally eats in one day. we keep going back to the hospital and they just keep reassuring us he's not dehydrated so there's nothing they can do and there's nothing we can do but ride it out. we've been giving him pedialyte (oral electrolyte solution) to help with the hydration but it's so sugary now when we give him the formula he doesn't like it and doesn't want to drink it. he's so weaek from the diarrhea. when he's laying down and wants to get up he keeps flopping over and crawling looks like it's so hard for him to do. he tries to play but it takes up all his energy and occasionally he just flops forward and lays with his head on the floor. i offer him liquids every hour, he'll take a few sips and then refuse the bottle. his little bum is completely raw from all the poop. everytime we change the diaper (which sometimes is every half an hour) he screams and cries. i'm so close to crying myself. i'm getting so frustrated. just when i think he's starting to get better he starts to get sicker.

i just can't think about food right now. i know my weigh in is this tuesday, but right now i just can't focus on that. i just want to get through this and have a happy, healthy baby again.

todays eats:
3 cookies (4 points?)
1 piece cake (7 points?)
1/2 subway wrap, some kind of meat with veggies (8 points?)
mexicale pie with salsa and ff sour cream--CORE food (5 points)
1 beer with clamato juice (4 points)
baked lays with guacamole (12 points?)

40 points (and i have no flex points left due to the unfortunate McDonalds incident earlier in the week)

48 oz water
no exercise

i know my food choices have not been the greatest and perhaps saying that my baby is sick and i can't focus on food is an excuse. maybe it is and maybe it isn't. perhaps i just need to bite the bullet and stop making excuses? i ate like shit b/c i wanted to? i eat like shit on a regular basis b/c i want to? do i secretly want to sabotage my weight loss? do i openly sabotage my weight loss? why do i do this?

he's still sick. still having the Big D. ugh. his little bum is SO raw and sore. he cries and cries everytime we change him (which has been about once an hour since wednesday). he hadn't thrown up since wednesday night, and then last night he vommited all over the bed. double ugh. his fevers broken, but he still seems to be in pain. it's so much work making sure he stays hydrated. i've been offering him liquids every 2 hours...S is just on the phone with his parents in England. when he gets off we're going to take him back to emergency. 3 days of the shits is just too long.

last night was wonderful. the tostada was mah-ve-lous. S actually suggested desert, but i declined. i've never declined desert before. it scared and amazed me. hah.

todays eats
fruity oatmeal (yum)
1 cup skim milk
one sandwich with chicken breast, soy cheese and spicy mustard (2 points for bread)
superstore BLUE spicy black bean soup, 1 cup
supper is going to be mexicale pie from 3fatchicks CORE board

16 oz water
no exercise yet (i was supposed to go walking in the park with my friend but it looks like i'll have to cancel, drat)

i'm starting this early today, so i'll probably be back to update it a ton of times.

we're eating out tonight. & i'm just going to say it now, i'm going to get the tostada which is all CORE except for the shell that it sits on, the cheese, and the sauce on the chicken and the sour cream. when i start typing what isn't CORE it sounds less and less CORE. hah! the picture is of a tostada except at the restaurant i go to there's a ton more veggies and the shell is way smaller. i'm not going to hide and pretend to say like i'll get something good for me. which where we're going there's not much that would be considered WW friendly.

i want a tostada, so that's what i'm getting. i've come to realize that i can't order nachos (even though i love them like you wouldn't believe). this is my compromise.

wow, admitting that is making me feel so much better about the day already. we decided last night that we were going to go out for supper and i stressed all night about what i was going to get and what i was going to do (& i stressed out over the sick baby as well). i think sometimes coming to terms with behaviour is better than stressing about it.

todays eats
1/2 cup cottage cheese (1.5 points) with strawberries and applesauce
fruity oatmeal (apples, oatmeal, & banana). it was YUMMY.
1 cup skim milk
tostada from carlos and murphy's with guac and refried beans (sooo good)
snack later on the smart pop popcorn. (maybe, if i need it)

32 oz water
WATP 1 mile--1.5 AP

these are the latest numbers. taken by S just a few minutes ago. in the brackets are two numbers. the first number is from a month ago, the second the original number taken january 17.

arms: 14.5 inches (14, 15)
chest: 48 inches (47, 47.5)
waist: 45 inches (47, 50)
hips: 50.5 inches (50, 51.5)
thigh: 23 inches (24, 26)

there is some fluctation going on. i understand that your body is like your weight. it changes and fluctuates according to the time of day and the day.

i'm most impressed with my waist. down 5 inches! woot! and my thighs are down 3 inches. another woot! i guess all those crunches and lunges do pay off.

although i wish i knew what was going on with my chest. sigh. S will love this.