ugh. the baby is still sick. the vomitting has finally stopped and there hasn't been a fever for over 24 hours. he's still got the diarrhea though and it's tough keeping him well hydrated. i gave him half a banana and it seemed to make him perk up a bit.

food wise--not so good either. at church there was home-made peanut butter crunch cookies and before i knew it had eaten 2 of them. then i figured cause i had eaten 2, 1 more wouldn't hurt. so another one went in my mouth. then the baby was being all cranky b/c he is soo sick and we had to wait to drive someone home and there were wraps from subway. pop. into my mouth it went. and there was a piece of cake in there somewhere too, lemon cake with sugary icing.

i'm so freakin' stressed out with the baby. since wednesday he's probably eaten what he normally eats in one day. we keep going back to the hospital and they just keep reassuring us he's not dehydrated so there's nothing they can do and there's nothing we can do but ride it out. we've been giving him pedialyte (oral electrolyte solution) to help with the hydration but it's so sugary now when we give him the formula he doesn't like it and doesn't want to drink it. he's so weaek from the diarrhea. when he's laying down and wants to get up he keeps flopping over and crawling looks like it's so hard for him to do. he tries to play but it takes up all his energy and occasionally he just flops forward and lays with his head on the floor. i offer him liquids every hour, he'll take a few sips and then refuse the bottle. his little bum is completely raw from all the poop. everytime we change the diaper (which sometimes is every half an hour) he screams and cries. i'm so close to crying myself. i'm getting so frustrated. just when i think he's starting to get better he starts to get sicker.

i just can't think about food right now. i know my weigh in is this tuesday, but right now i just can't focus on that. i just want to get through this and have a happy, healthy baby again.

todays eats:
3 cookies (4 points?)
1 piece cake (7 points?)
1/2 subway wrap, some kind of meat with veggies (8 points?)
mexicale pie with salsa and ff sour cream--CORE food (5 points)
1 beer with clamato juice (4 points)
baked lays with guacamole (12 points?)

40 points (and i have no flex points left due to the unfortunate McDonalds incident earlier in the week)

48 oz water
no exercise

i know my food choices have not been the greatest and perhaps saying that my baby is sick and i can't focus on food is an excuse. maybe it is and maybe it isn't. perhaps i just need to bite the bullet and stop making excuses? i ate like shit b/c i wanted to? i eat like shit on a regular basis b/c i want to? do i secretly want to sabotage my weight loss? do i openly sabotage my weight loss? why do i do this?