I made the blog private b/c it started to feel like I was worrying too much about what others were reading and what i could post and what I should leave out. Now there's no worrying about that. Whatever I want, whenever I want.

I went to the gym. I walked 2 miles on the treadmill. It took about 50 minutes to do that? I ran a bit, walked slow, walked faster, walked slow, ran a bit. I didn't break out into huge sweat, but it's hard to do when it's so hard to breathe sometimes.

We've been watching the Biggest Loser Australia (Season 2) and the show both fascinates and repulses me. The thought of these people being sad that they've lost 4 kilos or 5 kilos in a week really makes me sad (that's like 12 or 13 pounds). While I sit there thinking....'wow! if I could just lose 1 kilos or half a kilo in one week I'd be over the moon. & then I'm repulsed when I think how much is ever going to be enough. The trainers were talking about a contestant who only lost (only lost --fuck) 4.4 kilos saying she hadn't got it yet...well yes, I think she's fucking got it. she's fucking got it Good.

This mornings weight was 272.8.

We're going to the States for the weekend of November 10. I'm excited. We've booked a room and are going to do our christmas shopping and this trip is going to be our christmas gifts to each other.