but, shit happens right? & you gotta deal, right? & you gotta pick yourself up and carry on, right?

my husband lost his job yesterday. now we're fucked. (excuse the language)

i'm so mad because we were finally getting all our shit together...and BAM this happens.

Well, we did it. We refinanced our consolidation loan and added the line of credit and our credit card debt onto it. We left the car loan where it is. I'm not sure if that is the wisest choice, but right now it's the easiest.

Like I said before, this is the third time I have consolidated since 2004. It makes me feel ill when I think about how 7 months ago we consolidated all our debt and said, "This is it--no more debt" and yet somehow there was another 6K to add onto the loan. Sure, we reno'ed the kitchen...but really that only accounts for 2K of that 6K. It makes me queasy just thinking about the amount of money we (ok, mostly I) spend on 'stuff'.

My name is Carrie & I have a spending problem.

The New Freedom 35 Plan

Consolidation Loan - to be paid off in April, 2012
Car Loan - to be paid off in September, 2013
British Loan - to be paid off in November, 2009
House - to be paid off in 2048 (it sure does sound scarey when I put that year out there).

So, now that we've mastered staying in the black in our chequing account (18 days now), our next plan is to set aside money every month for an emergency fund...and then after we master that, it's going to be debt reduction.

The Salvation Army was having a 50% off of clothing sale today. My eyes glazed over and I went crazy with sweaters to unravel. I picked up 5 sweaters (pictured below), a set of knitting needles, and a roll of thick string (which is always handy to have around the house for tying up stuff) for just under 16 bucks. Score!

Here are my scores before I wash them and with the Sally Ann Tags still on them.
The Pink Sweater (handmade..some kind of angora maybe?--i'm seeing a shawl out of this)

The Purple Sweater (acrylic & cotton, it feels delish and will make an excellent scarf and hat)

The Red Sweater (100% cotton...here come the dishcloths!)

The Cream Sweater (acryllic & wool, nice and soft--i see a cabled hat with a brim, y'know?)

The Beige Sweater (100% cotton--The Dishcloths march on!)

All Stacked Up!

Since Christmas we've been watching Buffy and Angel. Watching a TV series as a whole is much more interesting then watching episodes week to week with the possiblity of missing one or two or most of the episodes. You really become involved with the characters and the plots. They almost seem to become your friends. Hah!

We're on Season 3 of Angel now and I just want to say...Lorne is my all time favourite Joss Whedon character. At first I really liked Xander. & then Anya. But then I met The Host. His greatness towers over Xander and Anya (although they are definitely in my Top Five Joss Whedon characters).

He is the host with the most. He's honest, he's funny, he's astute, he's hard to kill, he likes karoake, he's green, he's chicken, he's sweet, he's got horns. What more could a girl want? What more could anyone want?

The episodes that take place on his home world, Pylea, are so far my favorites. "Do the dance of shame!" Hah. Incapacitating people with his wondrous voice. Awesome. Averting death b/c his head can be reattached to his body. Priceless.

I sure do hope that Lorne stays in the show and that his character gets awesomer and awesomer. :)

PS. My Top Five Joss Whedon Characters would go like this:

1. Lorne
2. Anya
3. Xander
4. Malcolm (from Firefly)
5. Glory (although I realize you're not supposed to like her, but she was trying to do in Michelle Trachtenberg--who very nearly wrecked the show for me).

Cheers!

This week at life:

1. I went to a 2 day Writing Skills course. I now know about Independant Clauses and Subordinate Clauses, and adverbs, and adjectives, and apostrophe's. None of which was used correctly in that sentence. :)

2. I went for lunch with a work acquaintance. She assured me that it was okay to take longer then the 1 hour lunch. We were gone 1.5 hours and she was showing me around her workstation when we got back (we work for the same place, just in different areas) and apparently it was NOT okay. Her boss freaked out on her--in front of me! I feel like shit now. & I'm sure she does too. Fuck, her boss needs to take a course on how manage people effectively. What a shitty way to start the weekend.

3. Tomorrow we are going for supper and a swim at my friends house. I'm tres excited; she's one of my only friends that thinks of activities that include Andrew. For that, I'm truly thankful. (& hopefully I used that semi colon correctly there!)

4. Tomorrow we have an appt at the bank and we need to decide if we are going to consolidate all our debt....again. If we do consolidate, it will be the third time I've consolidated in 6 years. :( Kind of makes me sad when I think about it that way. Gotta. Curb. The. Spending.

5. I'm trying to decide what we should do when Steve's parents come to visit in May. We usually go on a little trip when they come here. The first year we rented a cabin and then last year we went to the states. They want to go to Gimli this year...but I don't know if I'm down with that. *Sigh* I wish there were more exciting places to visit in Manitoba.

Anyways...cheers everyone! Have a rockin' weekend! (I thought the picture was adorable)

Today I did a bad, bad thing.

I cancelled my appointment with my shrink today b/c I haven't done the assignment she gave me the last time I met with her. I don't know why I can't get it together on this issue. I waited so long to be a part of this anxiety program...and now I can't seem to focus on getting better.

My task was to do five minute intervals of cleaning upstairs. i can't do it. i couldn't do it. i couldn't bring myself to go upstairs and do something other then sleep. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. I know that the avoidance only gives short term 'relief' but increases the long term anxiety. I need to be brave. I need to expose myself.

Am I going to tell my shrink that I lied to get out of this week? Am I going to brave the upstairs and do my assignment?

as you can see from the ticker on the right....we have not gone into the overdraft in 14 days! this is awesome for us. it has seriously been years since we've stayed in the black. i'm so proud of us right now. i'm beaming. & steve gets paid tomorrow so unless the daycare fees cheque and the house insurance both get withdrawn before midnight tonight we should totally still be good to go!

for ease of viewing. i've been in love with Narnia ever since I was a little kid. This is so exciting for me!

Here's the truth about knitting. It terrifies me. Totally terrifies me. But at the same time I see so many beautiful patterns that I want to make. So. Many. Things. Welcome to 'Carrie's Knitting 101'. I plan to watch some how-to videos and then buy knitting needles and attempt to make something.

Knitting 101

Getting started - This is how you Cast On

Basic Stitches - Continental Method of Knit Stitch & Continental Method of Purl Stitch

Finishing - This is how you Cast Off

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way...what am I going to make? Hah!

This would be a good project to learn how to increase...but increasing is too scary for a first project.

I'm looking around...but everything seems so involved and complicated.

This looks exactly like something I want to do...but I'm terrified for knitting with 4 needles. eeks.

What does everyone suggest for a first project...remember though...I'm not allowed to buy anymore thread. I'm in destash mode so a smaller project is preferred. Give me ideas!

PS. This just occured to me...do left handed folks knit differently then right handed folks? Gah. So much to think about.

I really want to apply for this Childrens Ministry Coordinator position at my church. The deadline is May 1st. That's fast approaching! I've got the job description sitting here in front of me. I've got my resume as well. Ditto on the notes I've been making for the past week.

Problem? Writers Block. I don't have a single clue what to write in the cover letter. I don't even know what I need to include in this cover letter. My Spiritual Philosophy (if I even have one?)? My vision of church school and children's ministry (again, even if I have one)? Do I include my spiritual story? How did I get here? Or do I just concentrate on the skills that are listed in the job description? Am I overthinking again? Simply put, yes.

Fact: The Job Description does not (in any way) ask for spiritual philosophys and visions of children's ministry.

Fact: The Job Description lists duties that are similar to what a clerk & teacher assistant do.

From those 2 facts one would surmise that I overthink situations WAY too much...especially ones related to jobs.

The questions I posed in the previous paragraph are intriguing though. What do I bbelieve in? How did I get there? What is my vision for children's ministry? adult ministry? family ministry? ministry in general? Why do I second guess myself? Why? Why? Why?

This is the new plan: Short & Sweet and Captivating. Here goes nothing...

Dear Rev. XXXXX and congregation of XXXXX United Church,

Please accept this letter and attached resume as my application for employment with XXXX United Church as the Children's Ministry Co-ordinator. As you can see from the attached resume my experience, enthusiasm, committment, and skills would an excellent fit for XXXXX's vibrant and lively Children's Ministry Program.

My work experience has allowed me the opportunity to develop many different skills that would compliment the four main roles of Children's Ministry Co-ordinator that have been outlined on the Job Description. I have significant experience working with children and youth of all ages and abilities in a variety of settings. In my current role as Data Entry Clerk I am responsible for providing all aspects of clerical and administrative support.

I have been a member of the United Church all my life and very active in the life and work of YYYYY United Church, taking part in Worship & Music, Ministry & Personnel, and Christian Development, while I attended. I have also completed my Bachelor of Arts with a major in Religious Studies.

I am eager and excited to work alongside Rev. XXXXX and the members of XXXX United to ensure the Children's Ministry Program is a setting where children and youth have a safe and loving environment to explore their spirituality and their understanding of God at their level. It would be an honour to be selected for this position.

I look forward to hearing from you. If you have any further questions I can be reached at: xxxxxx or xxxxxxx. Thank you for considering my application for this position

Sincerely,

xxxxxx

Thoughts? Ruthless Criticism? Grammar/punctuation/spelling Nazi's? Bring it on.

I need help with this. I have never been so lost when applying for a job before & I desparately want to do this.

This is Andrew at the zoo last Sunday. We had a great time.


Andrew is very nearly 3 years old now. His birthday is in June and we are trying to decide what we should do for his birthday. Who to invite? Kids too? Where to go? What to do? Maybe even 2 parties (one for friends and one for family)? Have a party at home or go somewhere?

It's hard making all these parenting decisions. I want everything we pick to be memorable and fun and the best that it can be. But it's hard to know what a 3 year old wants to do and who he wants to spend his birthday with, y'know?