see this bag of chips?

no you don't cause they're gone now. in my tummy.

i hadn't had chips in sooooo long. i can't believe how fast i ate them...

today is going better so far. of course it's only 9:45 AM. of course there's still lots of day left. so far i've had cottage cheese and pineapples and done 20 minutes of the biggest loser. feeling good and feeling strong.

these last few days have not been going well.

i think i'm on a break.

i'm needing motivation of some kind and i don't know what. i know what i should be eating and to a degree i am eating it, i'm just eating more of it. LOT'S more of it.

i'm beginning to think i'm having problems b/c i did stop journalling my food. this is such an excuse, but it takes so much time to journal. after every meal i was going into 3 fat chicks and entering my food into my Food Accountability Thread and it just seemed to be a lot of work. now, i know losing weight is a lot of work and commitment, but i just can't seem to rationalize this in my brain. le sigh. le big sigh.

however, i did get off my butt twice today and do exercise. i did the 1 mile watp and then during The Amazing Race i did 1/2 an hour of independant watp moves with some jogging in place thrown in. i jogged in place for 2 minutes twice and then i did a 1 minute burst later on! one thing i can't wait for is for all this silly snow to melt so i can go outside to the park and run with S and the baby.

• My Family (even though my parents and grandparents drive me crazy, i love them to bits and wouldn't know what to do if they weren't around)
• My Baby (he's a lot of work, but he's worth it)
• S (he's also a lot of work, but he's worth it too--hehe, let's see if he reads this)
• My Health (I can breathe, I can walk, I can talk, I can choose to loose weight)
• My Country (I love Canada and am so proud to live here)
• My Church & Spirituality (even though my fellow church members also drive me crazy, i do realize that we are stronger b/c we are a community in Christ and are always seeking to do the right thing)
• My Friends (my peeps are wonderful and always here for me--just when i seem to need them the most

i just couldn't do it today.

i just couldn't do the points today.

today started out all wrong. i didn't have any breakfast before i left for church. time just slipped away from me. then i had to go run an errand for my grandma right after church and by that time i was starved and wanted nothing but a burger, fries and pop. so i got it. the big mac meal with diet coke. it was delish, especially the ketchup on those golden fries. hubby got the double quarter pounder with cheese meal and then didn't eat half his fries, so i ate them. gobbled them up is more like it. sigh. i know i should feel guilty and bad and mad at myself...but i don't. then we moved right along to supper: chicken, potatoes, gravy and pasta salad. the apres supper snack of popcorn and a cooler finished off this sunday of gorging. le sigh. le big sigh.

last night we went out for chinese food and i think i did okay with points. i had half a beer (1 point) and spicy peanut and beef satay soup (sooo yummy) and their #17 combination (which is a vermicelli dish filled with delicious things). i'm guessing 8 points for the soup and 12 for the vermicelli. then we went to Dairy Queen for ice cream and instead of getting a large blizzard i made a wise food choice and got a small dipped cone (8 points).

although i still went over my points and had to dip into my flex points, it was just that a dip (hah, no pun intended), it wasn't a full out gorge.

i don't know what our plan for today is. i'm going to tidy up and then do a watp and then i think we're heading to the mall.

cheers!

now that i know i have an audience i thought i'd post some pics of me and my family. i thought you guys might enjoy them.

that's my little man. he's almost 9 months old and he's one of the reasons i want to get healthy and lose the weight. i want to always be here for him and i want to be a good roll model for him. i can't really remember my parents exercising on a daily basis--even a weekly basis. they just never seemed to. but once i started to gain the weight it suddenly became a big issue and i should exercise and eat better, etc... if i tell my baby to exercise i want it to be because we're doing it together.



this is the baby and the husband, S. they are so cute together. you gotta love the daddy and baby pictures. they're always good for an...awwwww...

i'm not brave enough to post a picture of myself yet. maybe later. another day. another month.

Down 1 pound this morning. Woot!

i do have to admit that i haven't been sticking to my weigh myself only once a week rule. i have been stepping on that evil/nice/dual personality number teller. i haven't been obsessing over what it says...okay maybe i have. this week i will not stand on that damn scale until the appropriate day. promise...well i'll promise to try.

i've been thinking about why i like the exercise so much. i have come to some conclusions about it:

• the control-- I decide how much i'm going to exercise/lift weights. it is a measurable activity that i can do. when i eat right and count my points there's still no guarantee that i'm going to be able to see a lower number on the scale or move my ticker down. with exercise i know that if i exercise for 30 minutes, i've exercised for 30 minutes and my 3 fat chicks ticker gets to be moved. it shows progress and i like that.
• the way it makes me feel--that's right, i like the sweat and the burn and the heavy breathing. i never thought i would, but i'm beginning to enjoy it.
• the inches come off faster than the pounds--in total since the first time S measured me on January 17th i have lost 7 inches off my body. how cool is that?

this last week i am feeling like an exercise machine. i got my watp dvd and i have been enjoying it and doing it everyday sometimes twice! (except for saturday & sunday, but i wanted to, i just ran out of time)

i read somewhere (probably on 3 Fat Chicks) that once you get into exercising, it will no longer be a chore--you will want to do it. at the time i went 'pshaww...who actually wants to do exercise?'...well me apparently. i'm thinking less about what i'm going to shove in my face and more about what/how i'm going to exercise next. i'm even starting to think about what i'm going to do once the snow melts and i can get outside to run. yesterday i jogged in place (more dificult than it looks) for a minute and didn't feel like i was going to die. imagine that, me, jogging in place without dying! that hasn't happened since i was a toddler!