what do i want to achieve?

that's the big question, isn't it? what do i want to achieve?

do i make one BIG goal or lots of SMALL goals? do i make some now and re-evaluate in 3 months? i don't want to rush things and say in six months i will lose 100 pounds and wear a size 2, because i know that won't happen. i won't see it happen fast enough and i'll lose interest and i'll get depressed and i'll eat more and i'll gain more weight. blech. not going there again.

see, i have this problem. i've never lost weight before--only gained. there i said it. i've always tried and failed before i've even lost any weight. i'll go hard for 2 or 3 days, a week at the most and then i'll go out and binge and binge and binge and gain and gain and gain. the only time in my life i have ever lost weight was after i gave birth to the babe. i lost 30 pounds in less than a week (he was one BIG baby), now he's seven months old and i've gained 20 pounds of it back.

this is the heaviest i have ever been (minus the pregnancy). it's absolutely disgusting. i have 3 pants that i can fit (one i seriously have to squeeze into, the second one is mat pants, and the last one is about 3 sizes to big for me). barely any of my tops fit anymore, i'm down to about 7 tops (sweaters included) that i can wear. something needs to be done.

so, what do i want to achieve?

after that long preamble i had better say some substantial stuff, right? here goes...

Immediately...

• i will track my food on www.fitday.com
• i will drink my water everyday
• i will eat 3 times a day

In 3 months (by april 18th)...

• i will have joined weight watchers
• i will exercise 3 times a week for half an hour each time
• i will use my stability ball at home 3 times a week for 10 minutes each time
• i will have lost 5 inches (doesn't matter what body part loses)
• i will have lost 10 pounds.

and most importantly...

• i will review these goals weekly to ensure that i am following them and revise if necessary.

there, i did it. i wrote down what i will achieve for 3 months. is it too much? is it too little? are these realistic? unrealistic? i don't want to set myself up for failure, but i also don't want to not challenge myself. i do know i don't want count calories, that is not for me.

p.s. i've put my weight and weight goals in the sidebar. i'm trying to decide if i should put more of them...hmmm...