Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say and so little time to say it. All day long I think of half posts and things to say and then when I get home and have a minute to myself I have nothing to post about.

I'm more then weight and food and exercise and dieting. Really I am. I'm also more then a Mommy and a Wife. Really--I am.

Trouble is, I'm just having a tough time remembering what I really am these days.

The times they are a changin'--that's for sure.

1. I've applied for 2 jobs within the school division. They are higher classifications. I know what you're thinking--didn't she just start working at a new school? And indeed, the answer is yes. I started at a new school in November. I enjoy working where I am (my co-workers are sane, I'm good at what I do and I enjoy the kids, even though I might complain about them) and I'm not anxious to leave. I'm simply thinking about the bigger picture. I want to make more money and I want to have more responsiblity. Being in charge of student records and making 16.50 an hour (capping out at 17.85) just isn't cutting it anymore. I want more and I want it now! Hah. Plus the Division is going through a big time of change right now with all the baby boomers retiring. There is so much movement going on now would be a good time to move on up.

2. Steve has also applied for a new job. He's not enjoying where he's at right now and is looking to expand. But the problem is he's so vague about everything it's really bothering me. I find a warehouse job, he says he doesn't want to work in a warehouse, he wants to find an office job. So I find an office job...and you see where this going... Gah. He has a job interview tomorrow (the one job he applied for called him back--he is so lucky it hurts. I've got my fingers crossed. If not there are several other jobs that look promising.

3. We are looking to change the baby's daycare and I'm torn. Seriously torn. His present DCP, while satisfactory, has not been living up to my high standards. There was a large miscommunication between the two of us and while I accept responsibility I'm still upset by the situation. Essentially, I thought she was feeding him breakfast and she thought I was feeding him breakfast and in reality no one was feeding him breakfast. I feel so awful. There are other things that have started to bug me. Since the schools flood and our relocation she is very far away. I'm driving a total of 2 hours everyday. It's not fun. Not at all. Number one being that she isn't licensed. I knew that going in, but now it's bothering me. In September she is expecting 9 children. 9 CHILDREN!! 9!! All under the age of 3. That's not counting her one granddaughter who will be 4 and only there half time. Fuck. Andrew can't go there. How will she watch them all? What if something happens? What is she thnking? Anyways...I hurried home today after I found this out and went online and found a licensed daycare wayyyy closer to us. There are pros and there are cons of course. For example, she has a rather large TV in her living room and Steve is worried that Andrew will break it somehow b/c he's obsessed with TVs. Steve thinks we might be liable to pay to have it fixed. I'm worried about leaving him with someone I don't know (I've known the present DCP for 10 years). We're trying to decide what to do. ie. Wait and hope for a better daycare or go with this one. It's also more expensive (like 5 dollars a day more expensive) and the rate doesn't go down when he turns 2 like it does at most licensed facilities. Who knew it was this hard and this worrisome to be a parent?

4. I'm struggling with my weight and my size (as usual). I was lifting some weights the other day in front of the wall of mirrors and had nothing to look at but my fat, gross, ugly self. It's seriously easy to not notice weight gain and body changes if you don't have any full length mirrors at your house and you are in serious denial about what you have been eating. How is it that I can convince myself that I have been eating 'wellish' and expect to lose weight the reality is that I've had chips, dip, Rally Burgers, frys, pizza, chocolate, more chips, more crap, and more crap. Why?

Anyways...I'm liking my ticker. I'm liking the gym (except for the wall of mirrors in the weight area). I'm liking my job. I'm liking my marriage. I'm liking that it's almost Spring Break.